Why people gotta hate?

Hello party peeps!! 

     I have been reading a friends blog and her Facebook posts and it seems there is a theme running through them lately.  I feel horrible for her.  Recently she has had some success in the Drag community by winning a pageant and being asked to represent the LGBT community at various events.  I was so proud to know her and have been a big support of hers for about a year now.  I honestly believed that the LGBT community would be a tight knit group because of the adversity they deal with just for being different but I was so wrong.  There are bad people in every community.  My friend has been badmouthed for her look, her opinions, and the way she represents her beliefs.  Its so sad because she is a beautiful person and has so much to share with the world.  I may be small town and a little sheltered but it bothers me a lot.
    
     It got me thinking of all the times that I was bullied for no reason other than my looks or because I was new and being shy.  People that judge in general are sad.  They either have be bullied, or grew up seeing others bully people that are different so they know no better.  I would love to kick this kind of thing to the curb but its so hard to change the world with words.  I thank God everyday for people like my friend because she is a strong person and I want to have that kind of strength as well.  She's helped me realize that haters are gonna hate because they are jealous or troubled themselves.  Instead of hating them she feels sorry for them and wants to change things.  She reaches out and tries to start a conversation with them to see why there is an issue.  If they continues to bad mouth her she lets them go out of her life.  That is a strength I wish I could have had a long time ago. 

     I want to make the world a safe place for all of us that are "different".  Those of us with artistic abilities, mental difficulties, physical difficulties, and those that embrace alternate lifestyles.  Its not a choice for us to be who we are.  God gave us a gift to make the world a more interesting place.  If we were all the same and "Perfect" life would be so boring.  Its not a competition to see who is better than the others, its LIFE.  Those of us that are "different" struggle to fit an impossible mold set before us by "normal".  Let us brighten up your lives with our special gifts and show us respect and we will show you respect. 

     I know we have not met, physically, Gina, but I love you and you are beautiful!!!!  You are strong and I love that about you.  You are inspiring me to stand up straighter and follow my heart.  I thank God for people like you in my life because its hard for me to be strong since I have a hard time dealing with my own differences.  YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

     SHARE THE LOVE KIDS!!!!  Compliment a stranger today.  Maybe you will be the one that makes their day awesome.  You never know!!! 

LOVES AND KISSES TO YOU ALL!!!!

Jenn

FUN WITH CROCHET MEMES

I'm feeling incredibly lazy today.  LOL.  I live in NW Indiana and they keep threatening us with lots of snow and cold temperatures.  This girl does not like snow and cold.  I just want to bundle up and stay in bed for the rest of the winter.  Sooooo, I decided to share some of my favorite crochet memes instead of trying to come up with some deep thoughts.  Its another form of therapy for me.  Silly things people post about us crocheters just make me giggle.  ENJOY!!!

Ahhh I feel much better now.  Do you??  BTW I also Knit but I'm terrible at it LOL.  I keep trying but its really hard for me to keep track of the patterns.  ADD is evil when it comes to knitting.  Enjoy your day friends!!!  Start a random snowball fight.  Start a new hobby of collecting dust bunnies.  Do something completely out of character and have a good giggle over it. 

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Twitter:  JennsCrochetADD

Facebook:  Jennifer McCollough (I'm the one that's obsessed with University Alabama)

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Lots of reflections on why I do the things I do

Crochet and Knitting helps fight Depression and Anxiety?

Something super small today.  Been watching the snow outside and reflecting on my year.  Snow really is pretty when it first starts to fall and covers all the trees in front of my house.  I really am not a fan of snow or cold weather but it does have its beautiful moments.  Sometimes I wish I lived somewhere like the NW Woods where there is nothing surrounding my home but nature.  Imaging the sound of the wind and the local critters just doing their everyday thing like there was no stress in the world.  So peaceful.  I like peace.  I will find it in my everyday life soon.  For once NW Indiana doesn't stink.  Thanks snow.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/on-the-inside-lgbtq-artists-prison_us_583de0f8e4b0c33c8e1280f2?section=us_arts&ir=Arts&

Article I found from a Twitter I follow.  Goes along with the video I added to my presentation about how prisoners are taking up crochet to help deal with prison life.  This young lady has taken up drawing and her work is gorgeous.  Enjoy!!!

Rough week and how I deal with it.

Hello Friends!!!

Been a rough week for me.  Thursday I got the bad news that I have developed Diabetes.  Its not super serious yet according to my doctor.  My A1C was 6.5.  But its bad enough that I have to now monitor my blood sugar everyday and work harder on my weight loss.  Doctor is hoping that if I loose more weight and work on cutting out my bad eating habits for good I may be able to reverse my diagnosis.  Kind of a semi truck to the face diagnosis (dramatic I know).  But you know what, I've managed to take it in stride.  I thought it through last night and decided that this isn't the thing to bring me down.  I took up my crochet and counted my little heart out until I worked through my shock.  In the past I would have had a complete melt down and would be useless for days on end.  I don't know if it is because I knew deep down what was happening to me, or if all my reading and sharing has begun to really work its magic. 

It was also brought to my attention that a good friend from College passed away Friday morning in her sleep.  She had always been a great inspiration for me because of her positive attitude despite adversity.  Trouble finding steady work, relationship issues, and things of that nature never set her back for long.  She always rebounded.  She found out she was pregnant and was super excited despite always saying she didn't want kids.  She went through all the "OMG what do I do," moments with grace and always had a great sense of humor about it.  I think she would have been a great mom.  She had a lot of love to give.  RIP Kim Konold.  Love you!!!

Going to keep this short today.  Have a few more things to sort out.  Emotions are a funny thing.  Outside I look calm but reflective, but inside my heart aches.  I'm strong and I will become stronger.  Good time for some meditation and being thankful for what I have. 

New Media Fun!!!

More new media fun!!!  I love my classes.  I'm studying Animation at Full Sail University down in Orlando Florida.  I'm an online student and they are pushing my old brain to do things I never knew I would be interested in.  Like making YouTube videos.  This was really fun and honestly with a degree in Graphic Design I should do this more often.  I learned to manipulate images for a reason.  Digital images are another way of expressing your inner soul.  Sounds kind of deep I know.  I love to inspire and I hope I do that for those that have read my blogs. 

I really want to see what my readers are creating.  I love to share with friends the great work of others because we all are connected in the artist community.  The more we reach out and help each other the more powerful our images become.  So please share your links to your works and I'll give you a shout out on my other media pages.  I want everyone to be successful and satisfied with the pat on the back they deserve for sharing their thoughts and images with the world. 

You can share any form of art.  Written words, video, drawings, fiber arts, painting, etc...  I'll post them as I get them on my Twitter and Facebook with proper credits to you so please make sure you share your email address and name with me if you want others to know how to find more of your work.  I may not get them all out in a timely manor but I will keep sharing.  I hope I never run out of new artists to share with everyone.  Think of this as a chance to be apart of a big artist gallery that is run by a slightly goofy, and fun loving fellow artist.  If it gets really big I'll start a separate blog just for sharing.  GOOOD LUCK FRIENDS!!!!

ALSO:  Video update on my blanket!!!  YAY!!!  Finally you say.  Yes yes I know I'm very slow.  LOL.

https://youtu.be/5ns8qgcimcI

Tweet me at:  JennsCrochetADD
Facebook me at:  Jennifer McCollough  New Carlisle, In.
Pin me at:  JennsCrochetADD

Fun with graphics

In a former life I got a degree in Graphic design.  I decided to have some fun for my class I'm taking at Full Sail University and made some info graphics and Memes. 

My infographic about how art can save lives.  Click the links as well and get some great articles that I really enjoyed reading. 

https://magic.piktochart.com/output/18320254-art-can-save-lives?presentation=true

My fun Memes.  Would love it they go viral.  The Turtle photo is an original photo from my Brother In Law Alex Hermeto.  He and my sister are avid divers and they take really great pictures of the local sea life.  They live down in Florida and go all over the Keys and out into the Gulf of Mexico to dive different wrecks and reefs.  The digital art piece of the planet with the Roman Ruins on it was created by myself.  I worked on that for a week to perfect the background and the planet its self.  They were both created from scratch using all kind of filters and some pictures of cobblestones I found in my home town.  Photoshop is amazing.

Being multi talented is a lot of fun!!  See I'm not just a pretty face!!  hee hee

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@JennsCrochetADD

What is A.D.D. too me and dealing with the squirrels in my head:

Technical stuff but a great website:

https://www.adhdadulthood.com/again?utm_medium=redirect&utm_source=adhdadulthood.com&utm_campaign=2016

My version:

Hello again my friends!!!  I thought I'd focus  (ha ha that's a funny word for me to use)  on what Adult A.D.D. is and how I deal with it.  A little back ground first.  As a kid I was labeled as the day dreamer, temperamental, highly creative, and extremely smart but never seems to apply myself.  Sound familiar?  Well back in the 70's and 80's there wasn't much that people did with kids like me.  There was no alternate teaching techniques, there was no medications (that I knew of), and there were not real diagnosis of A.D.D. or A.D.H.D.  I was pretty much patted on the head and told to settle down and pay attention.  I spend most of my time bored to death with school and off in my little world which was much more fun and colorful.  The classes I suffered in were Math and English.  English back then was a lot of spelling, sentence structure, and reading.  I'm a terrible speller to this day.  Spell check has saved me many many times.  Math is a lost cause.  I have passed most college level math classes with B's and C's but that's only after I've had to repeat them many times over and had the teachers take pity on me and figure out a different way to help me understand.  I remember spending many nights with my mom trying to explain algebra to me and just staring at her like a drooling idiot.  I'd start to have a panic attack over it and she'd get angry with me.  Fun times. 

Jump to my adult hood and a the 90's where it seemed like every kid was being diagnosed with A.D.H.D.  They were being put on powerful medications that made them zombies.  I was still struggling as a young adult trying to find my place in the world.  I tried college and after one to many panic attacks I had to quit.  I started beauty school as a last ditch effort to make a life for myself.  I flourished.  Love doing hair but now so much for the conversation with the clients.  I just like to focus on the style and occasionally check with the clients about how they think it looks.  I'm an artist after all.  Don't bother me while I'm creating.  Things were going good in the beauty industry for me.  I could be me for the most part and I was getting pretty good at what I was doing.  My struggle was in interactions with my co-workers and clients.  I started to feel restricted because my area of the U.S. is pretty conservative.  I wanted to have fun with color and cuts but there was very rarely people willing to let me go to town.  The real reason I left the industry though was I got sidetracked by getting married and having kids. 

I had many jobs after the beauty industry.  Worked in a meat market for a while, snore!!!  Went to school again and got my certificate and license to become an EMT.  That really stuck for me.  I loved every minute of that job.  Even the times that made me cry.  It was the pure adrenaline rush of not knowing what would happen from day to day, patient to patient.  Driving fast and people patting you on the back for doing your job to the best of your ability.  I really miss it.  Its a physical job and a psychological job.  The physical part is what took it all away for me.  I got hurt and couldn't be and EMT anymore.  My marriage crashed and burned and I hyper focused on my kids. 

I shut down from the world and started to have regular panic attacks, severe depression and no focus.  My parents took my kids for a while until they finally found a doctor that was a psychologist that diagnosed me with my depression, A.D.D. and other hormonal issues.  All my life's frustrations suddenly made sense.  I'm not weird, I have a chemical issue in my brain that can be controlled.  Not fixed because that's impossible at this day and age but controlled.  We hit on a combination of medications for my depression and A.D.D.  and found out that I had low thyroid levels.  So I started on my medications and OMG what a difference.  The squirrels; the wild thoughts, colorful imagination, distraction, or hyper focus, were under control to a small point.  I was still me of course but I didn't feel overwhelmed by everything coming at me.  I could think things through.  I still have bad days and good days.  Some because I have a bad habit of thinking I'm cured when I feel good and stop taking my meds.  I still struggle to this day.  My issues are in doctors not really listening to me, or seeming to not listen.  I've had doctors blow me off as well and treat me like I'm being a drama queen.  The struggle is real.  But I keep on marching. 

That's all for now.  I was going to post pics of my crochet project this time around but realized I goofed really badly on the pattern and had to seek out a new version of it so it made more sense.  I was watching football and chatting with my best friend at her house.  Not a good time to try and pay attention to my crochet.  LOL  But together we found a much better pattern and I'm determined to get this blanket back on track.  SOOOOO next post will have pictures I promise. 

Have a great Sunday and Enjoy!!!!

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Twitter:  @JennsCrochetADD
Pintrest:  Jennifer McCollough/ JennsCrochetADD

A quick simple post today.  I've been a very busy bee with family things and school work.  I want to share with you a few links that I find very helpful in describing what art therapy is and a site or two on how to find your art style.  I always think that you don't have to be able to draw or paint.  Art can come in so many forms.  If something you create emotionally speaks to you then it is art.  Even functional every things, like arranging objects on your coffee table and taking a picture of it in the right amount of light, can be artistic.  Art is subjective.  Some may think its just junk laying around on your table but you see the beauty in the arrangement, the color choices, the angle of the sun hitting the objects, and their special meaning to you.  Not everyone is going to like it like you do.  It just takes perseverance and a few like minded people that enjoy your project as much as you do to make it art. 

1.  A great site from the American Art Therapy Association.  Has a great description on what art therapy is and all its different uses for working through trauma's to regaining fine motor skills after a stroke.  There are so many applications that I couldn't possible list them all. 

http://arttherapy.org/

2.  This site is a crochet project idea.  I never thought about using rings such as, keychain rings, or plain earring hoops, to crochet over to make amazing earrings.  Some of them look pretty easy and depending on the type of yarn or crochet thread you use can be casual or very fancy.

http://crochet.diyeverywhere.com/2016/09/26/try-crocheting-over-an-earring-hoop-and-marvel-at-the-covet-worthy-results/?src=fbfan_56377&mp=20161108&t=fbad&k=lgtsaus00167

3.  Ravely has become one of my favorite sites for finding artist created projects that you can purchase pattern or download for free.  Purchasing artist created patterns helps support the designers and gives them more opportunities to be even more creative.  They have an option to share your projects using the patterns you've collected with the artists so they can see how much you loved their work.  They range from cute stuffed animals, to afghans and any type of clothing you can think of to wear.  They also have great advice on how to start sharing your own patterns with the community.

www.ravelry.com

Thanks again for reading.  My next post I'll share a few of my fun projects that I made and the links to where I found the patterns. 

MUCH LOVES!!!

Ruby Falls in Tennessee. 

 11/3/2016

Hello!!

My name is Jenn.  I've toyed with starting a serious blog for a long time.  I've run around in my head thinking what could I contribute to the digital world that would make an impact?  I'm not an exciting person.  I tend to keep to myself.  I love to travel around to historical places to enrich my life, but lots of travelers blog about their adventures.  What is unique about me?  Well...I love art and I use it to keep my mental health balanced along with regular doctor visits and group therapy.  

I know you're asking yourself "OMG is this chick crazy?"  Nope nothing that exciting.  I was diagnosed officially, as an adult, with Severe Depression and ADHD.  Now these are VERY broad diagnosis' but it was a start to a long journey of fighting with myself to function in this life.  I struggled in school ever since I could remember with focusing on tasks given to me by teachers.  My grades were terrible but I excelled in the arts.  My art classed saved me from being the worst student ever.  (small exaggeration.)  I always loved parent/teacher conferences when they told my parents that "Jennifer is a very intelligent and creative young lady but she just doesn't apply herself."  I tried.  I tried really hard.  Staring at my books for hours on end while the print blurred all over the place and I would become angry and cry and have to give up because I couldn't focus.  I thought something was wrong with me and in fits of depression I would hate myself and bottle up till all I could do was explode and Lord help those that were in my way.  

The only time I felt relaxed and calm was when I was creating.  In grade school it was little doodles in my note books.  I have a little obsession with the eyes.  Trying to capture emotions in them.  I also drew ordered patterns which calmed the chaos in my head when I was feeling really anxious.  As I got older my doodles got a lot better.  I start creating little cartoons of Oranges dressed as the Terminator or Rambo.  A friend of mine and I had a fun time passing a notebook with different orange related characters and gave them silly names.  I took several ceramic classes in High School which was so much therapy from being bullied and struggling with myself.  Slapping the clay on the table and getting all the air bubbles out of it was brilliant.  Frustration flowed out of me and right in to that clay.  I tried to shape it into things that had a positive use with colors and shapes that I felt a million times better.  I never wanted to leave the studio.

After High school ended I got really lost.  I didn't have my daily outlet of art classes and I thought that if I joined the Navy I could discipline the anxiety right out of myself and show my parents that I can be "normal".  Well that went by the wayside when I tore up my ankle really badly and the Navy refused me.  I don't remember a lot after that because I was so far in my head and trying to escape myself that I pretty much self destructed in my own way.  

I fought with my parents constantly.  I was one of the few that did not get into drugs or drinking because I didn't have control over myself as it was.  I was actually scared of not having control.  I still am.  I hated the way drinking a lot made me feel.  I wanted to be respected for my intelligence.  I never was.  I did a lot of acting I guess because people thought I was pretty cool but in a dingy chick that liked loud music and guys with long hair kind of way.  I hated that part of my life more than anything.  I was so starved for someone to love me for being me that I stuffed every emotion possible into that dark place in my head and just went with it.  A lot really is a blur.  I hadn't really dated in school so I was pretty clueless on what love was.  I ended up meeting my ex-husband at a bar and we had two awesome kids.  but the relationship between us exploded around me because I had no clue what marriage was suppose to be like.

After having my daughter in 1994 I sunk so far into my own head that my ex cheated and I lost it completely.  Post Pardum Depression was so bad that my mom dragged me to the doctors kicking and screaming and that is when I as finally diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD.  So much came together in my mind that now made sense.  Why I had a hard time being appropriately social with strangers, controlling my emotions, and keeping any kind of focus on the realities of life.  

I now work with my doctors to keep my medications up to date to correct the chemical imbalances in my brain.  I did one on one therapy and group therapy to talk out my feelings and emotions.  It has never been and entirely smooth ride.  I have a bad habit of going off my medication when I feel good because I think I'm cured.  I've had an attempted suicide, that brought me crashing to reality that this is not something that can just go away for me.  I have to be diligent and take my medication and  use my art when ever I can to work through my frustrations.  Relationships are still really tough.  My anxiety really can amp up because of the trust issues I built up when I was married.  I still struggle with my focus on tasks.  

So what does all this have to do with art as therapy.  Well I want to share with who ever reads these world the ideas I have and the ideas of actual art therapists to help you deal with your mental health struggles.  I'll be sharing links, art work, and conversations with those that have spend their lives dealing with me and my own mental health.  This is going to be part of my therapy.  Letting all those negative thoughts and emotions that I have all the time out to the world so I can work them out.  This is a very scary thing for me because I don't like to be judged.  (one of the many anxiety issues I deal with.)  I will not judge anyone who reads this and wants to share their own ideas, artistic, written, or voiced.  Please share with me I love to help and in turn you help me.  

Next post will be some art ideas, along with a few links to some therapy ideas that I've come across that you can do at home.