What is A.D.D. too me and dealing with the squirrels in my head:
Technical stuff but a great website:
https://www.adhdadulthood.com/again?utm_medium=redirect&utm_source=adhdadulthood.com&utm_campaign=2016
My version:
Hello again my friends!!! I thought I'd focus (ha ha that's a funny word for me to use) on what Adult A.D.D. is and how I deal with it. A little back ground first. As a kid I was labeled as the day dreamer, temperamental, highly creative, and extremely smart but never seems to apply myself. Sound familiar? Well back in the 70's and 80's there wasn't much that people did with kids like me. There was no alternate teaching techniques, there was no medications (that I knew of), and there were not real diagnosis of A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. I was pretty much patted on the head and told to settle down and pay attention. I spend most of my time bored to death with school and off in my little world which was much more fun and colorful. The classes I suffered in were Math and English. English back then was a lot of spelling, sentence structure, and reading. I'm a terrible speller to this day. Spell check has saved me many many times. Math is a lost cause. I have passed most college level math classes with B's and C's but that's only after I've had to repeat them many times over and had the teachers take pity on me and figure out a different way to help me understand. I remember spending many nights with my mom trying to explain algebra to me and just staring at her like a drooling idiot. I'd start to have a panic attack over it and she'd get angry with me. Fun times.
Jump to my adult hood and a the 90's where it seemed like every kid was being diagnosed with A.D.H.D. They were being put on powerful medications that made them zombies. I was still struggling as a young adult trying to find my place in the world. I tried college and after one to many panic attacks I had to quit. I started beauty school as a last ditch effort to make a life for myself. I flourished. Love doing hair but now so much for the conversation with the clients. I just like to focus on the style and occasionally check with the clients about how they think it looks. I'm an artist after all. Don't bother me while I'm creating. Things were going good in the beauty industry for me. I could be me for the most part and I was getting pretty good at what I was doing. My struggle was in interactions with my co-workers and clients. I started to feel restricted because my area of the U.S. is pretty conservative. I wanted to have fun with color and cuts but there was very rarely people willing to let me go to town. The real reason I left the industry though was I got sidetracked by getting married and having kids.
I had many jobs after the beauty industry. Worked in a meat market for a while, snore!!! Went to school again and got my certificate and license to become an EMT. That really stuck for me. I loved every minute of that job. Even the times that made me cry. It was the pure adrenaline rush of not knowing what would happen from day to day, patient to patient. Driving fast and people patting you on the back for doing your job to the best of your ability. I really miss it. Its a physical job and a psychological job. The physical part is what took it all away for me. I got hurt and couldn't be and EMT anymore. My marriage crashed and burned and I hyper focused on my kids.
I shut down from the world and started to have regular panic attacks, severe depression and no focus. My parents took my kids for a while until they finally found a doctor that was a psychologist that diagnosed me with my depression, A.D.D. and other hormonal issues. All my life's frustrations suddenly made sense. I'm not weird, I have a chemical issue in my brain that can be controlled. Not fixed because that's impossible at this day and age but controlled. We hit on a combination of medications for my depression and A.D.D. and found out that I had low thyroid levels. So I started on my medications and OMG what a difference. The squirrels; the wild thoughts, colorful imagination, distraction, or hyper focus, were under control to a small point. I was still me of course but I didn't feel overwhelmed by everything coming at me. I could think things through. I still have bad days and good days. Some because I have a bad habit of thinking I'm cured when I feel good and stop taking my meds. I still struggle to this day. My issues are in doctors not really listening to me, or seeming to not listen. I've had doctors blow me off as well and treat me like I'm being a drama queen. The struggle is real. But I keep on marching.
That's all for now. I was going to post pics of my crochet project this time around but realized I goofed really badly on the pattern and had to seek out a new version of it so it made more sense. I was watching football and chatting with my best friend at her house. Not a good time to try and pay attention to my crochet. LOL But together we found a much better pattern and I'm determined to get this blanket back on track. SOOOOO next post will have pictures I promise.
Have a great Sunday and Enjoy!!!!
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